The word "ratchet" may be played out, but until the Internet agrees upon a more accurate description for these crimes, it will have to do. These stories are sad, imaginative, and they inspire us to have conversations about race, class, and the American dream.
This week's roundup includes a threesome gone wrong, a meth-selling taco truck, and pocketing sex toys. Each crime is rated on our Ratchet Meter, a base-10 logarithmic scale modeled after a similar system developed by Charles Richter—except that the Ratchet Meter has nothing to do with science because it's not actually a real thing.
Read on for the best of the worst ratchet crimes in America. Proceed with caution, stay safe, don't try this at home, and send your tips to chukwumarejjy@gmail.com.
And for your viewing pleasure, here's the latest episode of Ratchet News Network with The Kid Mero:
RNN: Ratchet News Network
STORY CONTINUES BELOW
Somehow, A Rhode Island Man Amassed Four DUIs in Just 30 Hours
Date: 09/24/2014
Location: Cumberland, Rhode Island
Crime: Drunk Driving
Ratchet Meter: 9
A Rhode Island man somehow managed to rack up four drunk driving arrests over the course of a 30-hour period which finally came to an end last Monday.
The Smoking Gun reports that 53-year-old Providence native John Lourenco's first arrest took place on Sunday afternoon after he crashed his vehicle into an SUV. Two children inside of the other vehicle were treated for minor injuries at a hospital in Providence.
Between 7:15 a.m. and 5 p.m., Lourenco terrorized the town of Cumberland, R.I.:
Location: Cumberland, Rhode Island
Crime: Drunk Driving
Ratchet Meter: 9
A Rhode Island man somehow managed to rack up four drunk driving arrests over the course of a 30-hour period which finally came to an end last Monday.
The Smoking Gun reports that 53-year-old Providence native John Lourenco's first arrest took place on Sunday afternoon after he crashed his vehicle into an SUV. Two children inside of the other vehicle were treated for minor injuries at a hospital in Providence.
Between 7:15 a.m. and 5 p.m., Lourenco terrorized the town of Cumberland, R.I.:
At 7:15 Monday morning, Lourenco—driving a Chevrolet Malibu—rear-ended another vehicle. Lourenco was subsequently arrested after his blood alcohol content was measured at .22, nearly three times the legal limit. He was later given a court summons and released into the custody of his 79-year-old father, Cumberland cops report.What's more ridiculous than the fact that Lourenco was released on bail an astonishing four times is that he managed to crash a different car in each incident.
Around 11:15 AM, a Cumberland cop spotted Lourenco—now behind the wheel of a 1970 Plymouth Barracuda—driving erratically. Lourenco, a general contractor, was pulled over and an officer determined he was intoxicated. He was transported to the Landmark Medical Center, where he “was released from police custody to the hospital.”
Lourenco’s fourth arrest occurred around 5 PM after he departed the hospital and got into a dump truck he owns. He eventually crashed the construction vehicle into “a tree and a wall doing heavy damage to all.” Lourenco “sustained minor injuries and was transported back” to the hospital for treatment of new injuries.
Meth-Selling Taco Truck Part of Elaborate Colorado Drug Ring
Date: 09/23/2014
Location: Denver, Colorado
Crime: Drug Possession
Ratchet Meter: 8
Authorities in Colorado have indicted over a dozen people after a taco truck was uncovered as a meth-dealing front.
Gawker reports that Colorado State Attorney General John Suthers made the announcement about “Operation Cargo” yesterday. The sting produced 17 indictments and the seizure of 55 pounds of meth, which officials say was imported from Mexico with cocaine under the direction of Juan Carlos Gonzalez. The 37-year-old allegedly sold the product from his BMW, while Maria Arellano has been accused of selling meth from her taco truck in Denver.
Of the 17 indictments, all but two of the suspects have been arrested. Charges include intent to distribute a controlled substance, conspiracy, tax evasion, and money laundering. Suthers characterized the operation to the Denver Post as reckless, with customers “[walking] up to [the] food truck and order a side of meth with their taco.”
Location: Denver, Colorado
Crime: Drug Possession
Ratchet Meter: 8
Authorities in Colorado have indicted over a dozen people after a taco truck was uncovered as a meth-dealing front.
Gawker reports that Colorado State Attorney General John Suthers made the announcement about “Operation Cargo” yesterday. The sting produced 17 indictments and the seizure of 55 pounds of meth, which officials say was imported from Mexico with cocaine under the direction of Juan Carlos Gonzalez. The 37-year-old allegedly sold the product from his BMW, while Maria Arellano has been accused of selling meth from her taco truck in Denver.
Of the 17 indictments, all but two of the suspects have been arrested. Charges include intent to distribute a controlled substance, conspiracy, tax evasion, and money laundering. Suthers characterized the operation to the Denver Post as reckless, with customers “[walking] up to [the] food truck and order a side of meth with their taco.”
Pennsylvania High School Teacher Arrested for Sending Inappropriate Pictures to Student on Snapchat
Date: 09/23/2014
Location: Lawndale, Pennsylvania
Crime: Sexual Misconduct with a minor
Ratchet Meter: 7
A high school teacher in Pennsylvania was caught sending wildly inappropriate pictures to female student on Snapchat.
According to The Reporter, Todd Gibson, 29, of Lawndale, Pa. was arrested on Sep. 11 after authorities learned that he sent images of his junk to a 17-year-old girl in August of 2013. The Reporter adds that the student attended North Penn High School, where Gibson was a history teacher and assistant water polo coach. Initially, their conversations were innocent before Gibson's inner-creep came out:
Location: Lawndale, Pennsylvania
Crime: Sexual Misconduct with a minor
Ratchet Meter: 7
A high school teacher in Pennsylvania was caught sending wildly inappropriate pictures to female student on Snapchat.
According to The Reporter, Todd Gibson, 29, of Lawndale, Pa. was arrested on Sep. 11 after authorities learned that he sent images of his junk to a 17-year-old girl in August of 2013. The Reporter adds that the student attended North Penn High School, where Gibson was a history teacher and assistant water polo coach. Initially, their conversations were innocent before Gibson's inner-creep came out:
On Aug. 11 and Aug. 12 of 2013, police said, the student said that Gibson’s Snapchat messages to her were “sexual in nature” and that the messages included pictures of him undressing and in various states of nudity before he sent her a photo of his genitalia.After learning about the incident, school officials contacted authorities. Gibson, who began working at the school in 2008, was charged with corruption of a minor last week. He's scheduled to be arraigned on Oct. 22.
Around Aug. 17, the student told investigators, she began to get annoyed with Gibson sending her messages, so she told him that someone had found out about their communications, according to the affidavit. Gibson then allegedly told the girl that they had to stop messaging via Snapchat and they should “delete each other and pretend this never happened,” detectives said.
The student said that she and Gibson exchanged a total of approximately 100 messages, according to the affidavit, and stated that Gibson frequently asked her to come to his house — she said she knew that Gibson lived less than five minutes from her residence.
Law Enforcement in Missouri Offering Class on How to “Win” the Media Over
Date: 09/22/2014
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Crime: Educating the media on falsehoods
Ratchet Meter: 5
Authorities in Missouri seem to believe the way to avoid another incident like what happened in Ferguson, Mo. last month is to better prepare officers for dealing with the media. To rectify this, the St. Louis County and Municipal Police Academy will educate with a special course about how to win the media over if an officer is involved in a shooting. The course, which is actually called “Officer-Involved Shooting – You Can Win With The Media,” promises that officers will enjoy learning about “Feeding the Animals,” and how “No comment” is a comment that can—and will—be used against you. The most beneficial segment figures to be “Managing the Media When Things Get Ugly (think Ferguson),” which comes off just a little insensitive.
Attendance will be capped at 80 people, because only so many members of law enforcement can receive this knowledge at once.
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Crime: Educating the media on falsehoods
Ratchet Meter: 5
Authorities in Missouri seem to believe the way to avoid another incident like what happened in Ferguson, Mo. last month is to better prepare officers for dealing with the media. To rectify this, the St. Louis County and Municipal Police Academy will educate with a special course about how to win the media over if an officer is involved in a shooting. The course, which is actually called “Officer-Involved Shooting – You Can Win With The Media,” promises that officers will enjoy learning about “Feeding the Animals,” and how “No comment” is a comment that can—and will—be used against you. The most beneficial segment figures to be “Managing the Media When Things Get Ugly (think Ferguson),” which comes off just a little insensitive.
Attendance will be capped at 80 people, because only so many members of law enforcement can receive this knowledge at once.
Florida Man Sentenced to Five Years in Jail for Raping Dog
Date: 09/22/2014
Location: Daytona Beach, Florida
Crime: Bestiality
Ratchet Meter: 10
A Florida man who was caught having sex with his dog by neighbors has been sentenced to five years in prison.
In March, disturbed neighbors saw 62-year-old James Bull raping his eight-month-old pit bull in Daytona Beach, Fla. According to USA Today, Bull's neighbors told authorities that they witnessed him touching the dog's genitals “on several occasions,” even though the animal yelped in protest.
Police responding the original distress call said they found the dog chained to Bull's front porch. In addition to being visibly afraid, she had no food, water, or shelter.
Bull was convicted on felony and misdemeanor charges for animal cruelty and sexual activities involving animals.
Location: Daytona Beach, Florida
Crime: Bestiality
Ratchet Meter: 10
A Florida man who was caught having sex with his dog by neighbors has been sentenced to five years in prison.
In March, disturbed neighbors saw 62-year-old James Bull raping his eight-month-old pit bull in Daytona Beach, Fla. According to USA Today, Bull's neighbors told authorities that they witnessed him touching the dog's genitals “on several occasions,” even though the animal yelped in protest.
Police responding the original distress call said they found the dog chained to Bull's front porch. In addition to being visibly afraid, she had no food, water, or shelter.
Bull was convicted on felony and misdemeanor charges for animal cruelty and sexual activities involving animals.
Man Arrested After Climbing Over White House Fence
Date: 09/21/2014
Location: Copperas Cove, Texas
Crime: Criminal Trespassing
Ratchet Meter: 4
Officials say a man jumped a White House fence and made it through the doors of the north portico prior to be arrested last night.
The Washington Post reports that the unarmed suspect, identified as 42-year-old Copperas Cove, Texas native Omar J. Gonzalez, got so far because he was not armed. While members of the first family were not inside, the Post notes that President Obama had just exited through the south entrance en route to Camp David. The White House was temporarily evacuated as a result.
Gonzalez was charged with unlawful entry and transported to an area hospital for medical evaluation. At the time, it's still unknown why he scaled the fence. However, the distance that he covered has raised concerns, and a Secret Service official reportedly told the Post that the incident was “not acceptable.”
Location: Copperas Cove, Texas
Crime: Criminal Trespassing
Ratchet Meter: 4
Officials say a man jumped a White House fence and made it through the doors of the north portico prior to be arrested last night.
The Washington Post reports that the unarmed suspect, identified as 42-year-old Copperas Cove, Texas native Omar J. Gonzalez, got so far because he was not armed. While members of the first family were not inside, the Post notes that President Obama had just exited through the south entrance en route to Camp David. The White House was temporarily evacuated as a result.
Gonzalez was charged with unlawful entry and transported to an area hospital for medical evaluation. At the time, it's still unknown why he scaled the fence. However, the distance that he covered has raised concerns, and a Secret Service official reportedly told the Post that the incident was “not acceptable.”
Threesomes Should Never End in Violence
Date: 09/12/2014
Location: Bay City, Michigan
Crime: Sexual Assualt
Ratchet Meter: 7
According to the New York Daily News, 30-year-old Bay City, Mich. resident Martin Miller was arrested for attacking 20-year-old Michael Chaney, who took part in a threesome with Miller and his wife.
The alleged incident happened on Sep. 12, a few days after Miller, Chaney, and Miller's wife, 24-year-old Daniela Miller, had sex. Miller reportedly became irate when he learned that Chaney, who the Millers apparently took in off the street, had sex with wife without him.
Authorities say Chaney was cooking hamburger meat, and brought some to the bathroom, inviting the married couple to taste it. An infuriated Miller reportedly threw the meat into bathtub while his wife was bathing, then attacked Chaney, choking him until he lost consciousness.
Chaney and Daniela Miller went to the hospital once he regained consciousness. When police confronted Martin Miller, he insisted that he threw the meat at his wife in jest, but used the following logic to explain his assault of Miller: “I am a Marine. When someone challenges me I go into kill mode.”
Miller, who told authorities he suffers from bipolar disorder, was charged with assault by strangulation.
Location: Bay City, Michigan
Crime: Sexual Assualt
Ratchet Meter: 7
According to the New York Daily News, 30-year-old Bay City, Mich. resident Martin Miller was arrested for attacking 20-year-old Michael Chaney, who took part in a threesome with Miller and his wife.
The alleged incident happened on Sep. 12, a few days after Miller, Chaney, and Miller's wife, 24-year-old Daniela Miller, had sex. Miller reportedly became irate when he learned that Chaney, who the Millers apparently took in off the street, had sex with wife without him.
Authorities say Chaney was cooking hamburger meat, and brought some to the bathroom, inviting the married couple to taste it. An infuriated Miller reportedly threw the meat into bathtub while his wife was bathing, then attacked Chaney, choking him until he lost consciousness.
Chaney and Daniela Miller went to the hospital once he regained consciousness. When police confronted Martin Miller, he insisted that he threw the meat at his wife in jest, but used the following logic to explain his assault of Miller: “I am a Marine. When someone challenges me I go into kill mode.”
Miller, who told authorities he suffers from bipolar disorder, was charged with assault by strangulation.
Stealing Sex Toys Is About as Low as It Gets
Date: 09/20/2014
Location: Spartanburg, South Carolina
Crime: Shoplifting
Ratchet Meter: 10
Police in South Carolina arrested a man for stealing a sex toy from an adult store, authorities say.
According to the Smoking Gun, 22-year-old Shane Gregory reportedly set off the alarm at Priscilla McCall’s in Spartanburg, S.C. yesterday. An employee, who told police that he once applied for a job there, was already alerted by his suspicious behavior. It turns out that Gregory was acting weird because he had shoved a pocket pussy into his pocket.
When the woman approached Gregory and asked him to empty his pockets, he first produced a condom, then the sex toy. Police were summoned, and he was charged with shoplifting. Now his embarrassment is public.
Location: Spartanburg, South Carolina
Crime: Shoplifting
Ratchet Meter: 10
Police in South Carolina arrested a man for stealing a sex toy from an adult store, authorities say.
According to the Smoking Gun, 22-year-old Shane Gregory reportedly set off the alarm at Priscilla McCall’s in Spartanburg, S.C. yesterday. An employee, who told police that he once applied for a job there, was already alerted by his suspicious behavior. It turns out that Gregory was acting weird because he had shoved a pocket pussy into his pocket.
When the woman approached Gregory and asked him to empty his pockets, he first produced a condom, then the sex toy. Police were summoned, and he was charged with shoplifting. Now his embarrassment is public.
Three Suspects in Philadelphia Hate Crime Charged with Assault After Turning Themselves In
Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Crime: Hate Crime
Ratchet Meter: 6
Three of the suspects implicated in Philadelphia hate crime that took place earlier this month have turned themselves in to police, officials say.
On Sep. 11, a group of up to a dozen attacked a gay couple in the city's Rittenhouse Square section. Members of the group were identified thanks to the social media sleuthing of @FanSince09, and police informed the Philadelphia Inquirer that only the suspects who were involved in the fight would be charged.
The District Attorney's office identified three suspects earlier this week. Kevin Harrigan, 26, turned himself in this morning along with Kathryn Knott and Philip Williams, both 24. Though the aggressors will not be charged with hate crimes because there aren't corresponding laws in Pennsylvania, each has been charged with two counts of simple and aggravated assault in addition to other charges.
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